Unfortunately, I have had more than one cancer scare in my life. Most have been moles but, in January, I found a breast lump and lived through that process (resulting in a surgical excision of an ultimately benign adenosis) as well. 2013 has been a constant cancer scare.
My MO is NOT to tell people until results are in, especially not my parents. They are worry- warts. They are pessimists. They get long faces. They pick out your coffin (And, no, now is not the time to talk about apples falling from trees :-) )
Now, my mom and I have had a trip planned for Spring Break, which starts this Friday for my boys. We were going to take them to Myrtle Beach. The plan was to drive separately since my parents and I live in different states. So, my mom- who is pretty neurotic about everything, not just health- has been calling me repeatedly to ask if I've "thought more about Myrtle Beach" (especially whether I was going to leave Friday or not). I've been putting her off and putting her off. But today, I just blurted out, "Listen, I'm being tested for melanoma, and I'm really not thinking much about the trip." GAH.
Her voice got grave. I started tearing up. She has been around the melanoma block with my sister. I didn't have it in me to talk long, but she asked if I would let her know when I got my results. Well, duh, of course I will let you know!!!!
We got off the phone and she called my sister immediately because SIS called me not 5 minutes after my mom hung up. I learned more about her melanoma than I ever thought to ask before. Hers was a pink one. It had started out darker and lightened. For three years, she had been concerned about it, but multiple doctors told her "Nothing to worry about." She finally found one who agreed to biopsy it, and that dermatologist also thought it would be nothing. But, it wasn't nothing. It came back melanoma.
The doctor called her personally and, with absolutely zero compassion or bedside manner, just said, "You've got malignant melanoma and will need to come back in for an appointment." She asked what that meant, and his answer was, "Well, usually if you get one, it means you'll get more." That was his answer. YIKES.
It turns out, the one she had been watching for three years was still in situ. Because she had worried about it for so long, she really thought it was going to be advanced, and her daughter was only one at the time. I remember she called me at that time, really shaken up about dodging the bullet and how much she had feared leaving her child without a mom. I TOTALLY didn't get it at the time. I was dismissive and compared her experience to my experience with a mole removal. UGH. Kinda embarrassed and miserably sorry about that now.
Do I feel better after talking to SIS? Yes and no. She said that, for what it's worth, she has a lot of moles that sound like the one I had taken from my arm. She asked if I have other moles that look like it, but I don't. I'm still feeling like it could go either way. And, the blackhead thing? That one is still throwing me for an enormous loop.
I am now on day eleven from getting the arm mole removed, and i can't understand why I don't have my results. My sister said that happened to her once. One of her moles needed to be sent to a second pathologist because it was a borderline melanoma case. That caused the delay. If that is the cause of MY delay, well, I'm not feeling so great about that.
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