I just called the dermatologist's office and found out yet another skin biopsy came back benign. I should be thankful and I am..But, after awhile, the good news is just so hard to believe.
About 6 or 7 weeks ago, I discovered a strange looking red papule on my ear. I have never been able to resist a good romp with Dr. Google, and he assured me that the ear is a prime spot for skin cancer. I decided to wait a month to see if I noticed any changes or if the papule would start to go away; it looked a little like a pimple. Of course, there was no change over that time. My dermatologist took a look and told me he *thought* most likely it would be benign but that it could also be a basal cell carcinoma. I guess that's better than melanoma (well, of course it is), but I was still worried. And, also, there are those stories of people learning their suspected basal cells are actually nodular melanomas! Of course, the latter scenario is where my mind went first, especially because right around the same time I found this papule, I also found an enlarged suboccipital lymph node (back of the neck, at the base of the skull, right in the hairline). I had this checked by an ENT, and my dermatologist also examined it. Both told me it didn't feel cancerous at all. But still- an enlarged lymph node is the very last thing someone who has gone through months and months of biopsies needs to feel!! Really, the last.
I am truly in shock that this papule came back fine. The dermatopathologist reported that it is a normal mole, and Dr. Google even said that sometimes normal moles can be similar in appearance to basal cell carcinomas so that gives me a small degree of confidence. But, honestly!!!! It's hard to believe I have had six things taken off my skin since February and every single one of them has come back okay. If it's not abundantly clear, I am not a glass half full type of person (ha), and I am befuddled as to why I should be so lucky when so many good, successful, loved people get the worst news and I keep coming out of this unscathed. I know I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but really!! The WHY some high risk people get cancer and other high risk people (like me) don't is something I can't stop thinking about..and that I don't have an answer does lend itself, just a little, to wondering if the pathologist could have made a mistake.
