An Answer on My Eye

My eye thing is a pingecuele. Apparently, it's a somewhat common thing related to UV exposure and aging. Another apparently. Apparently, they are really common in Colorado, where the sun is always shining and the altitude is high and people are always outside. I lived in Colorado for seven years and moved here about seven years ago, so maybe this is the right time frame for these sorts of things to come up. I loved Colorado so very much, but I am now regretting having lived there. I probably never even used sunscreen, either. GAH.

Of course, I am 41 now and- another apparently- apparently, my age is finally showing on my skin and, ahem, in other body parts. The skin and now eye stuff related to UV rays has just been so strange; multiple new skin bumps have appeared in rapid succession. First, there was a freckle right after I got good news from the breast biopsy in early February. I couldn't believe it when a new freckle appeared on my hand right out of the blue. That prompted my self skin check and visit to the dermatologist to remove some suspicious moles. Had they changed since my last skin check 6 months prior? It's impossible to say since I had not been checking my skin myself. But, one of those moles look awful- a huge red ring growing around the border. Surely, the PA would have caught that if it had been there, right? Then, right after getting the arm mole removed, not two days later, I noticed the very beginnings of the SK. And, then just a few weeks after finding out the arm mole and the SK were benign, I get this pingecuela.

I am REALLy curious about the timing of all this. It has to be the world's biggest coincidence that all this happened in such short succession at the very same time I was living through cancer anxiety, paranoia, primal fear on steroids....Did my stress cause the skin to change? Or, does normal, benign aging tend to catch up with you all at once, and this was just impeccable timing?

Anyway, all of these changes just keep confirming the anxiety that I do have, making me feel legitimate in the fear of cancer I have developed. I am doing better emotionally, I really am. I am actually feeling quite good today.

Yet, I know this isn't over. I have the two scarlike things to contend with still, and I can't help thinking about all the other risky things I've done in my life to maximize risks of other cancers-- specifically sanding on two different home improvement projects without a mask. I feel healthy as an ox, but have made an appointment with an ENT anyway (*blush*). While I know nasal cancer is really unlikely, I have had this annoying sinus stuff for months now....I never would have thought twice about it in the past, but breast than melanoma cancer scares have changed me.

Just hoping that I get to experience a lull in cancer fear until my next skin check in 6 months!!!!